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MYLES AWAY: Leave Top Gear to the professionals

The following is a commentary by editor Myles Kornblatt

I am surprised that I am this upset, but yet I still feel compelled to share a stunt from a couple of morning show radio DJs who have watched a little too much Top Gear.  The team at the Christian O’Connell Breakfast Show tried to combine a cheap car challenge with a race to the English coast.  Unfortunately for the audience, the U.K. radio hosts were ambitious to think this act was anything but rubbish.

Two presenters drove an Austin Allegro from central London to Portsmouth — an epic journey that, according to Google Maps, is a less than two-hour drive without traffic.  Along the way the listeners/viewers were treated to mediocrity-aspiring bits like going to Krispy Kreme, achieving 70 mph, or filling the gas-powered car with diesel.

The last one was a mercy kill for the audience, but the deathblow for the car.

The Austin Allegro is the U.K.’s equivalent to the Chevrolet Vega or AMC Gremlin.  Once voted the worst car in Britain, it is far from the ultimate driving machine.  But today it enjoys a Yugo-like cult following that creates a nobody-beats-up-my-brother-but-me attitude.  It seems I am even one of those who has a bit of a soft spot for them as seen by my grin as I posed with a couple of the little guys in the above left gallery pic.  So no matter if this was intentional or an idiot’s collateral damage, the Allegro did not deserve to die from this force-fed stunt.

I don’t want to reward the radio station’s actions by featuring the video on this site, but at this point, I’ve written about it too much to stop some from seeking it out:

This stunt does not offend my love of classic cars (no matter how loosely “classic” is used here.)  It offends my sense of comedy.  While there was not much value to the Allegro, it was in good enough condition that it did not need to meet its demise at the hands of those who consider penis jokes a cornerstone of how to make their living.

These radio geniuses were trying for a piece of Top Gear, when the TG boys had already proven a much better way to kill an Allegro years earlier:

Next time Absolute Radio stick to what you know best…stay indoors and away from the camera.

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